A Love Letter to Teaching

I became a teacher in 2010. I decided that I wanted to go into teaching when I was in high school, and I have never looked back…until now. When I started Writing Mindset in 2017, I wrote about the frustrations that happened within the field of teaching. Things like grading, lesson planning, and feeling like I was running a never-ending race of papers, emails, and strategies to reach young readers and writers. I always felt like I belonged in my classroom, if only I could get the amount of paper under control or figure out how to self-care my way out of stress. 12 years is a long time to try to get the balance thing right, and the secret is, that there is no balance. 

Teaching is a work of the heart. 

For me, it has always been about the kids. I love books in general, and paper and I have a longstanding relationship with poems and journals and doodles. But, more so, I love working with kids who don’t like to read or write. Now, many of them do. I love working with them, too. However, my heart was and remains with students who don’t come by this love of learning naturally. My approach to classroom management was very maternal in many aspects, while also focusing on the power of relationships. Nothing matters more than the ability to see your own power inside of you. I did this with kids, but my tools were books and words. 

How I will miss them. 

I will always work with students in some capacity. However, I am coming to terms that they won’t be “my kids” after too long. See this process started awhile ago when I became a mama. I am choosing Literacy Coaching for so many reasons, but among the top of that list is knowing that the work-life balance that so many strive for in the field of teaching is an invisible ceiling, a benchmark that none of us are designed to reach if we operate under certain structures. Some people reach these goals because they have boundaries in place that allow them to handle everything. For 12 years, I have tried every strategy, every way to grade on-the-go, rubrics, lesson plan ideas, and more. I could have kept going in my search, but I realized that the issue was that I wasn't willing to bargain with MY version of teaching that I knew to be highly effective. 

I know me. Therefore, coaching is my best option and opportunity to find my love for literacy again. I accepted a position in my same district working with two middle schools in the area. One of them being my former middle school. It will certainly be odd going into my old room, but if I ever get nostalgic I can go in and think about the moments of teaching that made me into a teacher. 

Here is why I am making the move:

Working with Teachers on English Teaching

Everyone keeps telling me that “now I will have a bigger impact.” But, my main objective as a literacy coach is to empower other teachers. I want to be a resource. In moments of doubt or wondering how to do something, I want to be there to help other teachers navigate the world of teaching reading and writing to young people. I have always loved working with pre-service teachers, but the more I did professional learning presentations, the more I realized that I loved helping others learn to unlock their own power. I am not the kind of lady to sit in a classroom in the corner with a laptop sipping a latte (even though the latte sounds lovely especially hot). I am the kind of teacher that realizes that the task at hand is pretty tough and sometimes impossible. Whether it can be providing resources, talking through an issue, or being in the room with the other teachers, the idea of creating a supportive environment for other educators to keep going makes my heart full and happy. 

The Elusive Hunt for Work-Life Balance

I am enough of a realist to know that this work-life balance thing doesn’t exist in the way that I thought it did. And then, try to find time to have a side hustle or blog when you are a teacher and you will find yourself completely consumed by different activities. Then, you become a parent, a mama, and a partner in trying to raise another human being. All of these little human beings you have been working with all of these years have taken on a new meaning because they are someone’s whole world. My whole world is a toddler that smiles at fart noises and reaches for books saying “up” to get up on the couch. I know coaching will come with a ton of work; however, I am aware that if I were to remain in the same position, I can’t keep up with my own personal standard of grading, lesson planning, and research that it takes to remain in the classroom…for now. Maybe someday I will go back, but now I am playing a game of chess with the clock each day to find more time for motherhood. 

Falling in Love Again with Reading and Writing

I love that quote that goes something like “reading is breathing in, writing is breathing out.” Because literacy is the air we breathe at times. Whenever I ask what makes my heart happy, I don’t have to reach far because it is always books and words. Before becoming a mama, my relationship with reading was slow. I could wander a bookstore, enjoy 1-2 novels a week, and search and add to my to-be-read list as I wanted. If I wanted to set aside time to write for the blog or in my journal, I could leisurely make a cup of coffee and write. Now, after becoming a mama, I create time (mamas are the masters at doing this feat…who needs Dr. Strange and the time stone?) for trying to grab poems, writing a blog post during naptime, and scribbling in my journal after bedtime. Literacy Coaching, I am hoping, will help me find a little more time for nurturing a longstanding love of reading and writing. 

I’ll end with a “Dear Basketball” by Kobe Brant style poem to my classroom. A love letter to teaching of sorts. 

I can’t wait to see what happens next. 

A Love Letter to Teaching

Dear Room 615, 

They called me last minute to say I would move into you. 

Two days' notice. 

Without hesitation, I agreed and the first thing I saw was the green grass and the big windows. 

I remember thinking I can teach here forever. 

My marble desk, my bookshelves, my posters, my markers, my pens. 

You were my second home. 

I knew the space mattered because it would hold the learning and voices

Of my kids. 

It always smells like books here. 

New books cracking open. 

Old books gathering some dust-

Waiting to be discovered. 

Like new ideas or ah-ha moments. 

I will always remember the footprints left behind,

Loud voices talking and small hands turning pages. 

You remind me of why I teach. 

Always in beta mode searching for a problem to solve. 

You showed me I can be myself and teach other people how to find joy

Through books and words

I always will remember finding the energy each morning to say good morning or good afternoon

Even when the moments weren’t always filled with joy

You were always joy. 

You help me now to remember the parts of the room that mattered as I move forward:

The students seated at the maroon chairs

The pencils moving (especially the ones that didn’t always move at the beginning)

The voices that asked questions, 

About everything.

The way I felt at the beginning of each school year to start fresh. 

Now, you push me forward. 

Like when people in my life have become a sort of home for me, 

You become a part of my world, 

That travels with me. 

Forever changed because of the memories and the people that have left behind their

Voices, words, tears and laughter. 

Love you, 615.